In Which My Fictional Brother Answers Questions on Yahoo! Answers

My mom and sisters have kicked me & my dad out of the living room so they can watch Grease? whats up with them and musicals? why does my dad go along with it??? he paid for the TV

Eugene, this is the thing; the world is made up of compromises.

As someone with four, yes count them, four sisters (the younger two get a free pass as they’re substantially younger than me and therefore help remind me that there are other generations out there far less bitter than mine) I have been subjected to my fair share of torturous viewing. Like Glee. Or Revenge. Actually, scratch that, Revenge is awesome in all the ways a common red blooded American boy shouldn’t find it. I would never tell my sister (the one who’s the inflictor of said torture) this, though I have a sneaking suspicion she already knows. But back to Glee, or rather a sort of circumspect general subject, such as Glee, that brings us back to the question in hand. Musicals are a form of art, stage and cinema, which both thrive and fail at the same time. Look back at the history of films and you’ll discover that towards the beginning there most films were musicals in one way or another. Look at pretty much anything the luminous Marilyn Monroe was in, she wasn’t known as a singer (though she did release albums) but nearly all her roles involve musical numbers. Diamonds are a girl’s best friend, or so I’ve been told.

So musicals are finding resurgence. Good for them, so did Pre-Raphaelite painting. Everyone likes a little simplicity in visual art every time and again (usually after staring at Dali for awhile or even Magritte [ceci n’est pas un homme]), and of course there’s something to cling to in all that brotherhood nonsense they exhibited back then. Always was a sucker for random groups of artists, they tend to have free booze.

But I digress. Musicals, as was the subject, have a certain appeal to women because they absorb things differently than men (this is said after years of careful study). They tend to be more abstract while men are more literal. So when a character on the screen bursts into song and starts expressing what we would generally either keep in or confide quietly to a trusted friend it seems absolutely ridiculous. One, because no one bursts into song with carefully planned choreography in real life (my sister assures me that reality is not the point, to which I say “Good”), and two, because if I just got my heart broken the last thing in the world I want to do is start shouting it from the rooftops. People suppress emotion and musicals are counter-intuitive to that.

And, quite simply, kid, your dad goes along with your mother’s desire to watch Grease in the living room, therefore vacating the space so he needn’t be subjected to Grease, because he wants to get laid. We all do. You’ll grow into it.

Could i get married in a church ? i’m 17 planning on getting married in a big chruch , i’m hispanic and we are to do our first communion to be accepted in a church when wanting to be wed . i never had the chance to do my communion when i was a child and i don’t plan in doing it either unless i have to to get married by church , i see white people get married by church all the time , so is it need for me to do my communion to marry by church ? could i still wed with out it?

Kimberly Silva, first off seventeen is way too young to get married. I mean, we all fall in love and we all think it’s going to last forever but seriously? When I was seventeen I was mostly devoted to a girl named after a grain that was half obsessed with books by Helen Fielding and forced me to watch the movie Never Been Kissed three times in theatres.  Why did I put up with it? Well, quiet honestly, because she would sleep with me if I did. That’s pretty much the reason why any guy does anything. Why am I sharing this? Basically because as a teenager those sorts of emotions start to feel an awful lot like love. You start justifying things. Why am I seeing this movie for the third time when I didn’t even like it initially? Rice wants to, I must love her. Now, I’m not necessarily saying this is the case with you, but, darling, give it a few years before you decide for god’s sake.

But, I suppose, I will answer the actual question; no you don’t have to confirmed to have your wedding in a church. There’s about as many denominations of the Christian religions as there are stars in the sky. Okay, that is a gross exaggeration but I do tend upon that from time to time. Some will probably give you a hard time about it, but most probably won’t care one way or another. And why is that? Without sounding too jaded and cynical (though if that surprises you then you’ve obviously never met me) Churches are a business. Yes they’re all spiritual and whatnot, catering to those who need something to fall back on when they realize they, themselves, are a bit too small in this universe of cosmic debris, but they are also a business. And in these days they’re sort of a failing business. They’ll take anyone they can get. Because you pay for the privilege to be there and the upkeep on massive constructs of stone ain’t cheap. Have a chat with whoever at whatever church you have your eye on and you can both probably work something out.

Should I stay away from this girl? So this girl has been through a breakup a few weeks ago. For some reason, she choose me to be the person of comfort and has been tagging along with me for a lot of things. Grocery shopping, dinner. She would openly flirt with me (like “if you go to happy hr, i’ll go”) in front of other ppl and make hints at liking me. But at the same time, i asked her why she started hanging out with me now and she said that we’re close and we’re BFFs. Pretty sure I should stay away from this girl right?

CollegeDave, what the hell kind of question is this? If there is one thing that all guys should know from a fairly young age it’s that all women are fundamentally insane. Don’t try to deny it all you women out there, you are. You have crazy mood swings and expect us to read your minds. You run hot and cold and are completely inconsistent, and the worst part is that you all see this as entirely normal. And what’s worse than that is that it is normal, because all women are that way.

This girl in specific is flirting with you because it makes her feel pretty when she just went through some sort of emotionally exhausting decoupling. Girls do this. I’ve been victim to it somewhere five times. Honestly, I don’t even see why as I mostly spend my time expounding on why I decided to go to the most expensive college in the United State and thus ensure I’ll be spending the rest of my life at a crap job to pay off my monumental student loans and drinking mass quantities of wheated bourbon, but like I said, women are insane. Most of the time it’s fairly innocent, they don’t want a relationship with you but they do you want you to desire them. Generally it’s a moot point because, honestly, most of the time if you’re female and not hideous with the worst personality in the world (the second bit can go either way, really) then you’re already desired. Or, at least, it has been carefully considered on many occasions.

I see that you, CollegeDave, never added in this what you want. Meaning, do you like this girl? Do you want to hang out with her, talk to her, date her, kiss her, bang her like a drum? Those are really the priorities here, because just asking if you should stay away from her with no other information doesn’t really give me any sort of platform to bounce from. If staying away is something that will be totally fine with you, then sure, it might be better for you both, emotionally, in the long run. But if you want to hang with the girl, the fact that she just broke up with someone doesn’t make it wrong for you guys to have a relationship (platonic or no). I’m starting to sound a little reasonable here so I’ll just add that at the very least, she’s vulnerable, you could probably get her to go for a little roll in the hay.


About Lindsay

I have a C'est Moi page, you should probably just read that.
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2 Responses to In Which My Fictional Brother Answers Questions on Yahoo! Answers

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