This is possibly the weirdest show that has ever been created.
When I first started watching this I wasn’t sure if I liked it because it was actually good or because it was the weirdest thing I’d ever seen on television. Either way, I can’t seem to look away. I don’t think it would be for everyone but with ghosts, murder, and my ability to suspend disbelief better than most people I know, I love it. What’s more, it actually creeps me out and that doesn’t often happen. In fact, as I’m writing this in my quiet creaky house I can’t help but continually look around. Which is awesome.
The show is, in it’s very basic of plots, about the Harmon family. They move from Boston to Los Angeles after the wife and mother, Vivien, has a miscarriage and the husband and father, Ben, has an affair with a student. He’s a psychologist, and evidently was a teacher but not in LA, but he doesn’t seem to see all the issues with his daughter, Violet, who cuts herself and gets into fights at school because she’s awesome. They move into this completely bad ass house that anyone would kill to live in:
And they get it for ultra cheap. Guess why. It’s not just haunted, it’s really haunted (it’s literally on a tour called ‘Eternal Darkness Tour’ and is dubbed “Murder House”). Nothing good has ever happened to anyone who made this place their domicile and they all seem to be hanging around. That’s not even to mention the neighbors. There’s Addie, a girl with downs syndrome who can’t seem to stop breaking in, and her mother Constance who’s weird as all get out and knows way more about the house than she’s sharing with the Harmons. In fact, I don’t even know any of her motivation, but it’s sufficiently weird enough to keep me watching.
The Ghosts So Far:
And there’s not much I can say about any one of them because mostly we just have no idea what the fuck.
Let me start this off by mentioning that for absolutely no reason that makes sense, I sort of love Tate. He starts out as a patient to Ben and then starts moving in on his daughter cause, well, they both have issues. Right from the beginning you seem to get that there’s something a little weird with him but past the second episode there’s really no room for doubt that he’s dead. Who exactly he is hasn’t been explained, but a friend of mine seems adamant that he’s Constance’s son. All we do know is that his domain appears to be the basement and when he feels like it he can call up weirdly terrifying entities down there.
I struggled with what picture of Moira to put up here because she’s really seen in two forms. I chose this one because it’s when she’s at her weirdest. The other photo I could have chosen would be of Frances Conroy. She looks like the latter to everyone except the husband of the house who sees their maid as what you see above. She goes walking around in basically a stripper outfit and comes onto him so strongly that it’s full on creepy. How they have never discussed her appearance is beyond me but Vivien doesn’t understand Ben’s weirdness and Ben doesn’t understand why Vivien’s okay with Moira walking around the way she does. We got a little of her backstory; she was the maid for Constance and her husband until she fooled around with him and Constance shot her through the eye. She’s buried in the backyard, undiscovered, and thus can’t leave the house.
Bondage Sex Ghost
There have been a few names for this particular ghost that are running around the internet, but it appears that the main one is Rubber Man. I’m going to continue calling this thing the Bondage Sex Ghost because, well it’s sort of funny, but it’s also completely astute. We know next to nothing about this entity. In the latest episode Tate dressed in the outfit for a minute but I really don’t think it’s him (though who knows, maybe I am wrong). In the first episode the gimp suit was found hanging in the attic where it was promptly disposed of in the garbage. But then it appeared to Vivien, who assumed it was her husband, and she had sex with it. Now she’s preggers and I’m pretty sure it’s not Ben’s. Creeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepy. Out of all of them this silent, raping, ghost is definitely the scariest. I gotta be honest here, it full on scares the shit out of me.
Weird Seventies Twins: At the very beginning of the first episode we’re given these two boys who break into the house in order to break some shit. They’re merrily doing just that when they’re ripped apart by something we don’t see. Now they like to hang around sometimes, just for funsies.
Chad and Patrick: The former owners of the house who were said to be involved in a murder suicide. They bought the house and found they couldn’t unload it despite the fact that they didn’t seem to be working out as a couple and wanted to move. Now they’re hanging around with Chad helping to decorating the place for Halloween and Patrick shamelessly offering to give Ben a blowie.
Charles and Nora Montgomery: The original owners of the house. Charles hasn’t stopped by for a visit but Nora’s made an appearance. We’ve seen them both in flashback. He was a successful doctor until his drinking problem took over and he started creating Dr. Moreau style creatures in the basement. Nora got a little pissed since the bills needed to be paid so she set up work for him doing illegal abortions. It seems one of the boyfriend’s of one of the girls was not okay with that. I find them to be particularly compelling. Maybe it’s because they were around in the twenties or maybe it’s just his completely vacant stare. Either way, I’d like them both to drop by.
Larry Harvey: I hesitate to write him down under ghosts because I’m not sure he is one. Then again I really have no freaking clue what’s going on with him. He’s got half a burned face from when he set his family on fire, and apparently he has terminal brain cancer which is why he’s no longer in jail (would that even happen?). He hangs around bugging Ben and demanding a thousand dollars and then uncerimoniously kills Ben’s former, pregnant, mistress. I’m not sure he’s even necessary. At all. But hey, he’s played by Denis O’Hare.