Merry Christmas, Carol.
I have hated Christmas songs for years. I get sick of things. When I was in high school my sister loved spaghetti with marinara so well that we had it pretty much constantly. To this day I still can’t stand pasta and plain marinara. I need to spice it up somehow. Vodka sauce, a few meatballs, anything. I just can’t do plain pasta marinara. My problem with Christmas Carols was quite the same. I just got sick of them. When I get sick of a regular song I have an easy solution; stop listening. I could go years and never hear the same song again. That way it was fresh when I heard it again. Christmas songs are unavoidable. Especially if you work in retail. At The Job they started playing Christmas music right after Halloween. That’s two solid months of “Rudolph” and eight thousand versions of “Last Christmas”. And when they stop I don’t have long enough to recuperate until, ten months later, they are back! But this year something strange happened. My Scrooge-like annoyance with Christmas songs was somewhat altered. I started listening to them again, and… enjoying them. Which is awesome for me since I have a mom and sister who are hell bent on thinking me a complete curmudgeon. The little Christmas tasks weren’t so bad, and while I always love buying presents for people I suddenly didn’t mind the other little things too. Decorating the tree was sort of fun, and making cookies and candies ceased to be a chore. I don’t know what caused this change, but thank god! It’s much more convenient. There is, however, one song I can’t help but take some issue with:
Christmas Songs Gone Wrong.
“Baby, It’s Cold Outside” is a song that was probably written in the fifties and involves a man and a woman often called the cat and the mouse. Meaning, of course, that the man is trying to catch the woman. I know that this song is about two who are attracted but the woman knows she should leave the premises of his house due to modesty. She doesn’t want to leave, but knows that she should, so his cajoling isn’t really all that unwelcome. However, in this day and age this song is just downright creepy. It’s almost a traditional Christmas song, but I don’t think I was aware of it until last year when Co-Worker C mentioned how horrifying it was. That was when I paid attention and couldn’t really deny that she was right. What was probably innocent in the fifties (I’m thinking Cary Grant and Doris Day in Touch of Mink sort of thing) really isn’t anymore. Don’t get me wrong, it’s quite a good song, but the lyrics are not so cute.
Mouse has pretty much been lured into this older gentleman’s house where he’s plied her with drinks and promises of fun. But now she realizes that she’s stepped a little bit further than she should have and wants to go home. But he wont let her. He begs, whines, and plies her with more alcohol saying “How can you do this thing to me?” He’s basically telling her that she’s blue balling him. Seriously. She points out that her family will be worried (her mother will start to worry, her father will be pacing the floor, and then later her brother will be there at the door), but he really doesn’t seem to care. She gives in and says okay she’ll accept half a drink more, because, quite honestly, she probably doesn’t know what else to do. But she’s probably given him too much of a victory because a few moments later she has to ask “What’s in this drink?”
Doris Day be damned, this is a song about date rape.
This is the first year that BBC America is showing the Doctor Who Christmas Special on Christmas. Do you know what this means? For the first time in three years I wont be obsessively checking my computer to see if a torrent has been downloaded from the United Kingdom! [Not that I download torrents] I wont have to excuse myself to the bathroom and sneak into my room to see if someone has broken away from their Christmas crackers and turkey dinner to upload for the geeks of the world. It’s freaking about time. More importantly, it’s awesome to know that enough Americans are out there watching Doctor Who so that BBC America decided it would be worthwhile to do so. I can’t help but feel as if this is some small sort of victory from all us nerds who can’t go a few months without seeing a new adventure from our favorite Time Lord. And best of all; Rory. My infatuation is deep.
Misfits got a Christmas episode this year too. I’m never clear on who gets them and why they choose the ones they do. Gavin and Stacey had a Christmas Special once, and that was awesome because you got to see Ruth Jones singing Islands in the Stream. Or… wait, was that Comic Relief? Who can remember, but I know they had a Christmas Special. And Ruth Jones is awesome. But Misfits is what I’m taking about now, after my bout of ADD. I talked about Misfits briefly when I used Simon as my Weekly Crush last week, but to recap slightly; it’s about a group of five young offenders who get caught in a storm and receive powers. The Christmas Special was actually shown last week and had pretty much nothing to do with Christmas except smart alecky Nathan wore a Santa suit the entire time. It also left off with one of the most unsatisfying season endings possible. Because they’re all young and, well, offenders they sell their powers when someone crops up with the ability to take and give powers. Of course, they soon realize that they need their powers after a terrible accident. At the end they go to get their powers back when another possibility comes along. They can get other powers instead. And it ends with powers being transferred. We don’t know which or if the terrible accident will be reversed. It was completely frustrating.