I have this friend who’s afraid of sharks. I get stories of imagined rows of teeth while scuba diving (which only encourages my fear of submerged things) and links to videos of great whites off the coast of Cape Cod eating seals and spraying bloody water in the air. I like to think that I am fairly respectful of people’s fears, given the fact that I have so many absurd ones of my own. So I smile and nod and make sympathetic comments while secretly thinking “Why the hell would anyone be afraid of sharks?”
Okay, I get it in a ridiculous sort of way (and I mean ridiculous in the way that it’s coming from someone who’s afraid of heights, needles, and ET). They have teeth. They sometimes attack people. They’re sort of stealthy in the fact that you really can’t see them until they creep up behind and take a bite. But lets look at statistics here; the chances of getting attacked by a shark are only about one in eleven point five million. That’s… not really high. Of course, it’s probably higher than attack by ET.
But, I saw Jaws a few weeks ago. I know what you’re thinking, how has a movie freak like me managed to get by in life without having seen Jaws. You’re right, I have no excuse, except that I thought I’d seen the majority of it and got th gist. Shark, attacks, gets defeated by fishing boat. Hell, I’ve even been on the ride at Universal Studios. I did not get wet when he jumped out of the water. But I’m here to say that I had not seen the majority of the movie. The whole second half when they’re hunting the shark pretty much escaped me and somehow, in a darkened room it became horrifying. It was awesome. With my wimpy best friend on one side screaming and grasping my arm and Sweet Sweet Julie digging her nails into the other side I could help but get slightly work up myself. Also, I confess, I was sort of drunk. The bar next door, which I will categorize as “my Pub” was serving bloody water shots. I don’t know what was in them, but they were deceptive. That may have added to the effect. It certainly added to the effect of me getting my picture taken with the titular character:
Anyway, the point? I concede. Sharks are scary. Now I just need to watch Jaws II, 3D, and 4 so I can reform my opinion.
Also, thanks Cedar Lee and The Late Shift for allowing my first full viewing to be a memorable one.
*I feel as though I should trust my reader to either a) know or b) look up that the song I’m referring to is Shark in the Water by VV Brown, 2009, from the album Travelling Like the Light.