Distraction Faction

I have, today, decided to not be negative. It’s easy to be, that’s for sure, when nothing seems to be going right and waking up in the morning gets harder and harder everyday. But, there’s a lot of other stuff out there. And really, even though I work everyday at 5am, I only work for five hours, which isn’t long and allows a decent nap afterward. It sucks, really, in fact it might be pretty much my idea of a living nightmare… but it could always be worse. So, instead of dwelling and feeling sorry for myself I’ve decided to go about this in a much more mature fashion; distraction. There’s far too much going on in the world to be pissed off because I’m tired. Even the small things. Like;

Burger King Commercials.

Am I the only one who is terrified by the King? I mean, I was freaked out by his frozen expression and creepy grin the first time I saw it, but the recent commercials are just simply buying into that. It’s like someone at the BK Corporation handed over the sketches to their adolescent daughter and watched the nightmares roll. There are only three things I would like to wake up to less than the King standing over my bed with his menacingly chipper expression; ET, Prince and Apollonia Kotero doing it, and Edward Cullen. Actually, those things might just immediately send me into a catatonic state that would likely require playing Star Wars on a loop until I’ve been mind tricked out of it.

But, the King would be a close second. I get it; they’re trying to promote the late night menu. Stealing the fourth meal from Taco Bell. Giving Cleveland Heights an option after 10pm other than IHOP. But, seriously… how exactly does being pranked awake because you ‘went to bed before the King’ make you want to buy food? Actually, if that happened to me I might never eat again, I certainly would never speak to my friends again. And the whispering just makes them worse. Really, they’re decent commercials for McDonalds.

Brainless Sci-Fi.

Okay, brainless may be a little harsh. What I mean really is guilty pleasure not high concept Sci-Fi. As stated before… I like a lot of crap, CW-style. I like shows about fabulously catty people growing up in impossibly posh conditions a la Gossip Girl, yes, but there’s only so long I can watch insipid crap like that. And that’s where the SyFy Channel comes in (ugh, do I hate typing that). There’s a lot of high concept Sci-Fi out there. And I love it, as far as I am concerned when it comes down to show and movies, even books, the more complicated the better. I am far happier when I have absolutely no idea what is going on. I’d have to be, after all my favorite show is Lost. Yet, at the same time there is a special place in my heart for monster of the week-esque plots where whatever problem has presented itself this is solved by the end of the hour, everyone is generally happy, and it’s just a bit of, well, fun.

Let me take a moment to appreciate Eureka. Seriously, I could watch this show all day. It’s always a sure fire way to get my daily, or weekly rather, dose of literally the most ridiculous technologically advanced crap unknown to imagination. For those unfamiliar this is the plot: Federal Marshall Jack Carter and his delinquent daughter (though, obviously she’s really just a mildly rebellious teenager who grows) crash their car outside the small town of Eureka located somewhere Oregon which just so happens to be inhabited by a bunch of geniuses who mostly work for a government organization called Global Dynamics that pretty much makes weapons and develops random tech for the Ministry of Defense. Well, that’s the overall plot anyway, really it’s a bunch of calamities in a row brought on by people who are too smart for their own good. Oh, and Carter inexplicably becomes the sheriff.

This show is ridiculous. Here’s an example: currently they apparently have a super collider that ‘makes the hadron collider at CERN look like a slingshot’ (note on the fact that the word hadron is not in my Microsoft Word dictionary, I am thinking of protesting). I am a little unaware as to the point of them having a super collider that makes the hadron collider at CERN look like a slingshot because the rest of the episode is about a high school student accidentally creating an artificial North Pole over the Pacific Northwest. I suppose the point is to prove once again that Global Dynamics has the best and most amazing stuff. How is this show not terrible? I have no idea, but it totally rocks. Now, if only we could get the LHC working.

[Also in this catagory: Warehouse 13, Primeval, series 1 & 2 of Torchwood, and Doctor Who (though to be fair to myself at least half the stuff I love about the later is the, probably imagined, deeper stuff).]

Saturn.

Call me stupid, but I wasn’t aware, prior to April 14th, that planets made sounds. Or, radio emissions, whatever. Well that’s a bit of a broad statement I suppose the correct thing to say would be that space has radio emissions. I suppose I should have been tipped off by the fact that I knew the Big Bang theory was considered proved enough to grant Nobel prizes to Arno Penzias and Robert Wilson for their work at the Holmdel Horn Antenna when they discovered microwave background radiation in 1965. Personally, I think the Horn Antenna looks like modern art. I wouldn’t mind one in my backyard, next to the bouncy castle.

Horn Antenna

So it shouldn’t surprise me that space makes sounds, nor that we can hear them. I think that I had just never thought of it before. But, regardless of all that, it’s infinitely cool. Here’s a link:

space

What impresses me the most, really, is that everything in the universe has a different sound. Everything is broadcasting different frequencies that… well some of them sort of sound like the electrical box that sits in the outside corner of my little room and makes sort of vvvrrroooming noises. Actually, that’s sort of scary. If I wasn’t used to it I would still be convinced the house was going to go up in smoke. But, then there’s Saturn. Saturn sounds haunted. Like ghosts should sound if you left on a recorder and listened to their high pitched whining. Like if someone was expertly adept at licking their finger and playing glasses in varying fullnesses. Sometimes, when in a particularly bad mood, there’s just nothing to do other than lay down, close my eyes, and play Saturn on repeat.

saturn pic(click me)

The CH-UH Public Library.

I was a fan of the Columbus Discovery Place Library system, it was good, it had a lot it, and best of all was free, so long as you returned everything in a timely manner and didn’t have to pay the dollar a day fine. Compared to the Cleveland Heights – University Heights Public Library the Discovery place version is compete shit. It has everything. And if it doesn’t have it, it can get it… and fast. When I put myself on the waiting list in Columbus I would often be three hundredth in line and I waited for months. With the CLEVNET system the longest I’ve ever waited was weeks. This resource is unbelievable, really, and if you don’t use it, you’re a fool. Unless, of course, you have massive fines that you just haven’t paid. You have no excuse. The best part? Even for DVDs the fines are only ten cents a day. So worth it.

Simon Pegg.

Is finally on Twitter. To which I say swoon.

So. Tomorrow I will wake up at 4:15am angry and pissed off, I will go to work angry and pissed off, I will likely complain the whole time. But then I will come home and I will think of all those little things that help at least a little, or at least keep my occupied enough to not care so much. What’s on your list? Well that’s up to you. But, in the event of emergency… there’s always such thing as a good stiff drink.

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About Lindsay

I have a C'est Moi page, you should probably just read that.
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6 Responses to Distraction Faction

  1. Sarah says:

    you wouldnt want to wake up to edward cullen standing over you?!? you’re crazy.

  2. ladylinzi says:

    Ew! He’s creep central! Seriously??

  3. M says:

    Edward Cullen is an abusive twat.

    Also, why do I never get credit for the awesome things I introduce you to? April 14th is stealing all my glory. Hellooooo?

    In retaliation, I’m going to get grumpy about Simon Pegg for the REST OF THE EVENING.

  4. kittenkaboom says:

    1. Only you could start a post off with saying you are not going to be negative and then two sentences later state “It sucks, really, in fact it might be pretty much my idea of a living nightmare…”

    2. The Prince and Apollonia doing it comment made me literally spit on my computer I laughed so hard.

    3. I think it’s funny that the girl who use to be scared of aliens is now addicted to sci fi. 🙂

    4. Saturn sounds trippy and kinda made me feel like I was on drugs… reminded me of when I got my acupunture for some reason. very neato mosquito.

    5. I know that massive fine comment was directed at me. :p

    6. Simon Pegg…be still my beating heart.

    7. M calling Edward Cullen a twat produced the same response as #2 above.

    8. Vampire Bill is by far a better vampire boyfriend…swoon

  5. ladylinzi says:

    That wasn’t negativity, that was a statement of fact.

    And, Vampire Bill can suck my blood any time he pleases. Especially if afterward he’ll go busting out of coffins cause I screamed a little. Actually, I’d probably start screaming a little just to watch him do it. Hehe.

    ps. Why am I talking about Bill Compton like he’s a real person?

  6. Very interesting read. Really..

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