The Worst Show In the World.

I’m sorry, I don’t mean to complain. But, Smash is the worst show in the world.

smash

It’s depressingly bad, really. Especially because the pilot had a lot of potential, the idea had a lot of potential, but then the writers started writing it. It’s gotten to the point where I have to watch it because it’s just hilariously bad. And I should know. I know from bad TV. I struggled through the entire finale season of 90210 just to prove I could, after all. But every time a new episode of Smash comes on I still find myself tuning in and shaking my head at the absurdity of every action. Now, I am definitely the type to rip on things until they are nothing but a pulp withered on the floor, but I wouldn’t normally consider myself the type to write pages about it and post it to my blog. Yes, I like to complain, but this warrants it. And how. For those of you thankfully not watching this show let me give you a little run down:

Smash is about putting a Broadway show together. In this case, a Broadway show called Bombshell about the life and death of America’s favorite movie star, Marilyn Monroe. We start with the writers, veteran duo and scribblers of Broadway sensations such as Three on a Match and Heaven on Earth, Tom Levitt and Julia Houston. They pull in producer Eileen Rand who’s all about the project, and all about sticking it to her ex-husband and ex-producing partner, Jerry. First they pull in aspiring actress, Ivy Lynn, to sing a few songs and get people interested which attracts Derek Wills, famed Broadway director and sort of a douche bag (though, I don’t entirely dislike him, probably because he’s played by Jack Davenport who I still love because of the British television series Coupling, which was amazing and hilarious). Then there is casting, Tom wants to give the part to blonde voluptuous Ivy but then there’s fresh faced Karen Cartwright, who might have a shot at the role as well.

So what’s wrong with all this? Let’s start with the basics; the writing is terrible, the characters are unrealistic, and the situations embarrassingly overwrought. The acting is… not the worst. These are all veteran actors here (with the exception, perhaps, of Katharine McPhee depending on whether or not we count The House Bunny and/or Shark Night 3D) who are basically good at what they do, however they is only so much even Angelica Houston can do with the most ridiculous character in the world. Which is really the problem; all the characters are just bad. I sometimes wonder if the writers have ever met people.

Take, for example, Debra Messing’s character of Julia Houston. I’ve never been a huge Debra Messing fan. I liked Will & Grace enough to watch it occasionally  I wouldn’t watch something because she’s in it, but I wouldn’t avoid anything with her face either. I think she’s fine. Plain and simply fine. And in the pilot episode she seemed so earnest, so genuinely happy to be writing a musical about the life of Marilyn Monroe. What woman wouldn’t be? There’s no great tragic icon on the past century. I was looking forward to seeing the trials and tribulations of a successful Broadway writer trying to balance work and her home life with son and husband. Instead what she devolved into, almost immediately, was someone who consistently carried on about how things weren’t exactly how she wanted them in the collaboration and her major story line of the season turned into her old and then rekindled affair with the actor hired to play Joe DiMaggio.  Julia’s affair with Michael Swift was not only boring as all hell… we didn’t really get any steamy scenes before we got tearful confessions to her husband and problems with her son… but it led to asinine questions like: Is Julia’s judgement clouded by the actor playing the part? Should the romantic focus really be on DiMaggio instead of, say, Arthur Miller or (Hmmm) John F. Kennedy? I will go ahead and answer; yes. If you want to give an audience the love of Marilyn’s life you choose the husband who dedicatedly delivered flowers to her grave until the day he died. Luckily with season two Michael Swift disappeared. Viewers of this show like small favors because that’s all we get.

Angelica Houston’s Eileen is another example. Separating with her cheating husband, Jerry, Bombshell will be Eileen’s first outing on her own, and she desperately needs it to work. Okay, that’s compelling enough. We could have Eileen conniving her way through her old contacts, charming them to her side of things for revenue and good press, and we do get some of that, but, like Julia, Eileen’s story line is bogged down by an unnecessary love interest in the form of seedy bar owner Nick, who puts up capital for the show but probably doesn’t have that much cash lying around legitimately (this comes back to bite her and give us even more unwarranted drama in season two). Like Julia’s beau, Nick is gone by season two, only to pop up once to remind us that he was there at all.

But the embodiment of the annoying character issue is clearly the first season character of Ellis. He started out as the uppity assistant to the song writer and propelled himself to producer’s assistant through shear deviousness. He lies, he betrays, he passes secrets that should have been kept and he does it all with a smirk on his face so annoying that you can’t help wanting to reach through the screen and smack him a couple times. Sometimes this works. There are always those characters you love to hate. Ellis was not this way. He was just hated. There was actually an episode where he poisoned a woman with a peanut laced smoothie when he knew her to be allergic. Why? Because he wanted the lead role to go to someone else. Really? This character was so stupid and so annoying that there’s really no way anyone would have kept him on, secret keeper or no. He’s a no one, his word would never have flown against an established Broadway name. Luckily the writers seemed to get that people were ready to turn the TV off if faced with the irritance of Ellis once again so when season two started they completely overhauled the show and Ellis was the first thing to go.

Unfortunately they filled his void with aspiring musical impresarios Kyle and Jimmy. Kyle’s a sensitive, gay, overly patient, dubiously talented book writer who’s in love with his best friend Jimmy, a quasi-violent, ex-druggie who’s bad attitude would pretty much guarantee he’d never get a shot at getting his play produced, no matter how good it’s supposed to be, anywhere except a television show. He’s brooding, he’s hot… he’s that dude I saw in Newsies last year… and he’s a perfect match for Karen? If you say so, NBC. And his songs are SO GOOD that Karen drops Broadway and goes to star in this duo’s musical, Hit List, off off off Broadway. The fact that I can’t recall a single tune is arbitrary. I suppose.

Hit List is a thinly veiled Rent. A point driven home by the addition of original cast members Jesse L. Martin and Daphne Rubin-Vega and a Rent poster positioned above Martin’s character’s desk. It’s brought to the Manhattan Theatre Workshop where’s it’s lauded as the voice of it’s generation and then to drive the point home further [SPOILER, if anyone cares] one of the characters dies just as the show has opened propelling the musical into greater fame. Except, well, Rent was about a time and place, portrayed the importance of love and friendship amid a generation fighting change. It wasn’t about everyone. It was about a group of starving artists in New York City who don’t have heat or electricity in their squatted home. It was something people latch on to, myself included in a hard way, for sure because it was powerful, and (despite applying a specific time and place) timeless, it was after all based on Puccini’s opera La Bohème, which itself was based on Scènes de la vie de bohème by Henri Murger. Hit List is about… actually I’m not really sure. It’s about a girl who wants to be famous and she’s got a guy who writes songs that are good. And there’s a famous woman who ends up shooting the girl in the end for reasons that are completely unknown. They do a lot of stuff on platforms. To be honest, I’d be interested to see Hit List because I want to know what the hell it’s about and to see if it is actually good at all. Sadly we haven’t been privy to much of it, except the grandiose musical numbers that are supposed to suck us in but don’t.

Hit List is a direct response to problems viewers had with the show last season. Between Ivy and Karen for the role of Marilyn Monroe the choice is ridiculously clear and viewers didn’t appreciate having Karen’s ingenuity shoved down their throats. It makes sense that Karen should star in something more poppy, less old school musical. However, the way the show was introduced came off completely unrealistic and really just as annoying as the complaints people had from season one. Replacing one annoying aspect of a show with another equally as annoying doesn’t really do anyone any favors, which is probably why NBC threw this stinker to burn off on Saturday nights.

It’s a shame really, because I always root for the endeavors of Broadway stars. I started watching Glee, honestly, after catching the original cast of Spring Awakening in New York. Lea Michele was in it (I could not have predicted how annoying she would end up to be when she was singing in her underwear as Wendela Bergman). I started watching Bunheads just because of Sutton Foster, before I realized how completely underappreciated that show was (it was awesome). And then Smash, of course, because of Megan Hilty (I did not know her previously) as Ivy, Christian Borle (heard of him, mostly because of his marriage to the aforementioned Sutton Foster, but never saw him) as Tom, and now Krysta Rodrigez (saw her in The Addams Family try-out run in Chicago) as Karen’s long struggling friend who gets a shot at stardom in Hit List as well, and Jeremy Jordan (saw him in Newsies, though it was his co-star I went to see) as Jimmy. I can honestly say that the only ones I still like are Hilty and Rodrigez because Hilty’s voice is sick and Rodrigez’s character is the only one with a head on her shoulders.

My mother’s complaint was that it was too soap operaish. To be fair, that is her complaint about every show. And, it’s not a complaint that I hold particularly valid in most cases because that is how shows are. They have people falling in and out of love, betraying each other, cheating, lying, the whole nine yards. This is often what keeps people watching, wanting to know what those rascals will do next. However, with this show the complaint rings so very true. It’s far too soap operaish. This show should have been about what it advertised; a group of people getting a play together. Instead it was about a group of people who sleep with each other, lust after each other, fight, bicker and hug at rehearsal. Plus there is the bed hopping. I mean, really, isn’t this best left for cheesy nighttime soaps in the Desperate Housewives vein? Sometimes I can’t even remember if Derek is sleeping with Ivy or pining after Karen.

But maybe I’m being unfair. Maybe a soap was all this was attempting to be. Perhaps I am just giving it too much credit. But either way, it’s not good. It’s not salacious enough to be a good soap and not serious enough to be anything else. It’s a problem.

The only redeeming thing about this show is Ivy Lynn. I’m not entirely sure if this is because she’s written well or because she was manipulated well by actress Megan Hilty, who is clearly the only good thing that’s come out of this mess. Her voice is, in a word, resplendent, and she always manages to show strength and vulnerability at the same time. Ivy is also the one character that’s been given a full character arch. Starting out in the chorus of another Broadway show it’s clear Ivy’s been working her whole life for this opportunity. Her struggle is realistic. The daughter of a famous Broadway star, played by Bernadette Peters because that’s only the really casting that would make sense her since we’re given almost nothing of her mother except the fact that she made it on the Great White Way, Ivy has paid her dues. Her voice is amazing, she’s beautiful, and undoubtedly talented; it seems like it should be her time. But there is still struggle for her, because the role she was meant to play isn’t automatically handed over to her. She gets the part only to be pushed aside in favor of a star and then passed over again in favor of ingenue Karen Cartwright, the director’s darling, who was serving as the star’s understudy through a series of unlikely circumstances. Now, I, unlike many it would seem, do not particularly dislike Karen or her in the role, but no one could deny Ivy was born to play this role. Ivy’s not always nice, she’s not always fair, but she’s always human, which is far more than I can say for the rest of the cast.

Posted in TV | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Drawn That Way: My Favorite Animated Outfits

I’ve been watching a lot of Disney movies lately. Half because I’ve been babysitting a lot and half because I almost forgot how much I loved them when I was little. And I started thinking how incredibly awesome their clothes are. Despite a tendency to wear the same thing everyday animated characters aren’t quite limited by our very human inability to look awesome in the most bizarre of ensembles. That doesn’t mean I didn’t spend an awful lot of time when I was younger imagining myself in quite a few of them. I thought I’d collect a few. In no particular order.

Snow White’s Rags (Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs)

snow's rags

A lot of attention is given to Snow’s classic outfit; yellow skirt, blue and red top, but it was always this one that I liked better. Perhaps because it’s not as flashy. Or tacky, to be honest. Sure the skirt is pretty much falling apart and wouldn’t be out of place on Eponine on Broadway, but I would totally wear this outfit. It’s perfect for scrubbing the steps and singing.

Belle’s Pink Dress and Fur Lined Cape (Beauty and the Beast)

belle's hood

I’m gonna be real here, Belle is probably the best dressed of the Disney Princesses. Probably of all the Disney females. She actually changes her outfit several times, makes a simple blue shift look good, while being utilitarianism, and can rock yellow like no one else. But it’s this outfit that wins in her multiple wardrobe changes. The pink dress is cute; three different shades of pink, impressive, and I like the sleeves. But look at that cape thing. If I had that thing I wouldn’t wear anything else. You’d find me sitting on the beach in the summer wearing that cape. She only wears it for about one minute, but it’s a good minute. Beauty and the Beast is the only Disney movie I can think of that involves snow and as a result Belle is one of the only Disney characters that wears weather appropriate clothing (though I can’t say the same for Maurice who busts into the snowy wilds with what amounts of a shawl). She wears another hooded cape with her green dress (more on that later) but this one is the one clearly trumps all.

Bianca’s Coat and Hat (The Rescuers)

bianca rescuers

If The Rescuers proved one thing it was that even mice can be fashionable. Especially when voiced by Eva Gabor. Miss Bianca usually wears a pink hat and pink sort of shawl thing, which is cool and everything, but it was always this brown ensemble that she wore at the beginning of The Rescuers that got my vote. First of, I love the coat, which is very sixties chic, and the brown is much more accessible. She gets extra points for the atomizer.

Briar Rose’s Outfit (Sleeping Beauty)

sleeping beauty

Words really don’t get into how much I love this outfit. In fact, last year when I was attempting to throw together an ensemble for the Great Lakes Medieval Faire this was my inspiration. The calf length skirt, the collared three quarter length top, the corset styled overlay. Plus she has the totally rocking black headband, very Gwen Stacey, and the matching wrap. And, of course, the habit of walking around bare foot, which you can only get away with when you have such tiny feet. It’s the perfect dress for cavorting in the woods with your feathered and furry friends. The style was repeated again for both Princess Eilonwy in The Black Cauldron and Ariel’s Touring the Kingdom Outfit in The Little Mermaid, but never quite as well.

Vanessa’s Wedding Dress (The Little Mermaid)

vanessa's wedding dress

At the end of The Little Mermaid Ariel gets everything she’s ever dreamed of; legs and the guy. We leave our former mermaid at her wedding to the remarkably down to earth for a royal Prince Eric. But… I always hated her wedding dress. The puffed sleeves are almost bigger than her head, and when you’re a Disney character that’s saying something. And while Anne Shirley might appreciate the look, I never did. Instead it was Vanessa’s dress that I coveted. Actually I loved her whole look. I mean, sure she’s really an evil old octopus woman, but this disguise was pretty hot. Her tilted cat’s eyes, her dark sumptuous hair. I actually love every outfit she wears, but in comparison terms it’s her wedding dress all over. Small puffs at her shoulder, long sleeves, split skirt, ridiculously long veil. In my head this was always my wedding dress. Yep.

Belle’s Green Dress (Beauty and the Beast)

belle's green dress

Best dressed. Seriously. Belle’s green dress is another wardrobe change that get all of a minute of screen time. It’s simple and a lot like plenty of other Disney outfits but as I was perusing through the many outfits in the many movies I realized it was really this dress that I enjoyed more than any others like it; Drusilla and Anastasia’s outfits come to mind (though Belle’s is admittedly without the badass bustles Cinderella’s stepsisters sport). Its something about the soft moss greens in this one, I think. Or, you know, it could just be because it was the outfit she was wearing when she was given the best library in the world.

Anya’s Imagined Dancing in the Winter Palace Gown (Anastasia)

Anastasia

This dress was the reason I couldn’t name this post My Favorite Disney Outfits, I couldn’t not include this. This dress makes it’s appearance after our heroine, amnesiac orphan Anya, breaks into the closed up Winter Palace in St. Petersburg in search of a con man, starts to have sort of flashbacks that involve dancing with the dead Czar, and still has no inkling she might be the lost Grand Duchess everyone just did a musical number about. Anya does have some good costume changes, her gold gown towards the end is a more Imperial version of this really, but this dress gets my vote. I love the gossamer sleeves, the sparkle in the skirt, the ponytail, the crown, and the completely confused look in her eyes. It’s really the sort of dress that can only be conjured up, so it makes sense that in the film it only exists in a daydream.

Mrs. Darling’s Going Out Dress (Peter Pan)

mrs darlings dress

In a movie full of children it’s understandable there aren’t that many awesome outfits. I mean, Tinkerbell’s tiny green dress is pretty cool too, but no human being could get away with that. Mrs. Darling hardly appears in Peter Pan but I always used to wait for her two brief moments. I loved her dress. The pink, the froofy collar, the puffed capped sleeves, the belt. This outfit probably falls into that late Victorian/early Edwardian place where Darling and Jim Dear live in Lady and the Tramp. It’s a little generic and simple but sometimes that can go a long way. Wendy agrees.

Ariel’s Pink Dress (The Little Mermaid)

ariel pink

This dress has sort of become Ariel’s go to human outfit in the Disney Princesses line, so I agree it’s a little played out, but when I was young I loved this ensemble. I was always a fan of those split sleeves and they do just enough here to jazz up the top part of the dress, while the draped pink skirt over cream does the same for the bottom. Small details that make this simple dress regal and fitting for the mute guest of a royal.

The Bimbette’s Matching Everyday Outfits (Beauty and the Beast)

bimbettes

One of the things I never understood about this movie was why Gaston wasn’t satisfied with one of the Bimbettes. They’re obviously on his same level of intellect and frame of mind. They’d probably be happy to raise his six or seven kids and massage his feet while his latest kill roasts over the fire. Sure, Belle’s beauty is famed, but even his trusty sidekick, LaFou, thinks Gaston’s selection of that weirdo who likes to read is a tad strange. And the Bimbettes are hot. Probably as hot as Belle, in a completely different way, of course. Their boobs are certainly bigger and they’re pretty happy to wear much more revealing clothing. And that clothing is pretty rad. Everything’s color coordinated, with lighter colored aprons in a pointed end. Even the bows in their hair match. They’re country girls, through and through, but that doesn’t mean they can do it in style.

Posted in Childhood Icons, Images, Lists | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Spring Mix

Spring is here and occasionally the temperature agrees with that. I knew pretty early on that I had way too much music for one Spring Mix so I had to go with two. Especially when the first one was finished around Daylight Savings Time. Feel free to download it here.

spring

1. The End – The Lower 48

2. Little Numbers – Boy

3. I Want You Back – Noisettes

4. Truelove – P!nk

5. Hermila – Shout Out Louds

6. Keep You – Wild Belle

7. Black – Kari Kimmel

8. Sail On – The Good Mad

9. We Are Stars – The Pierces

10. Overdrawn – White Sea

11. Closer – Tegan and Sara

12. Mes fantomes – Alizée

13. Young and Beautiful – Lana Del Rey

14. Stay – Rihanna

15. Shine Right Through – Correatown

16. Pennies on the Floor – The Little Willies

17. Never Wanted Your Love – She & Him

18. Wishes and Stars – Harper Simon

19. Let Me Back In – Rilo Kiley

20. Cactus in the Valley (Acoustic) – Lights feat. OwlCity

21. Buy the Stars – Marina & the Diamonds

Posted in Mix Tape | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

In Which I Expound for Way Too Long About a Disney Cartoon

I’m pretty sure that writing for the website Buzzfeed would be the easiest job in the world. Generally all it consists of is lists of stuff. Remember what it was like in high school in 1999? Wanna see what all these child stars look like now? Signs you went to an all girls school. Mostly they consist of pictures scoured from the internet with a paragraph of explanation underneath them. They probably take an hour to write, though I am sure the ideas take a site bit longer to think up. Minimal effort, I think, but high reward. Because everyone seems to love this website. I love this website. Most of the time it’s hilarious and often apt. I’ve posted their pages on my facebook to share with other people. But I usually don’t spend a lot of time thinking about it afterward. Until now, because recently they posted this: 12 Questions Disney Forgot to Answer About ‘Beauty and the Beast’.

belle Now, I’ll admit, many of these are valid questions. And I get that they are trying to be witty and amusing by posing questions to a Disney movie that would clearly never answer any of them (the same could be done for pretty much any Disney movie). I could probably answer 90% of these questions with roundabout reasoning (there were a lot of different kinds of princes and princesses in France at this time, look it up). Of course, they never did ask the one question I’ve always had since childhood (If everyone thinks Belle is weird for reading and she borrows all her books how does the bookshop stay opened?). But between this list and this picture that I just found:

belle and tardis

(sorry, Belle would be the greatest companion ever)

I’ve been doing a lot of reminiscing about Beauty and the Beast, which led me to watching the movie twice in the past week. That movie seriously holds up. And it made me think of how the world’s opinion of Belle has been winnowed down to the way we’ve seen her almost exclusively for the past I don’t know how many years; in her yellow dress, smiling serenely behind blue clad Cinderella and pink Aurora (another issue I have, that dress was pink for all of five minutes and blue for the rest [go Merriweather!]). Today I went over to the sticker section where all the Disney stuff is placed and looked in vain for Belle in her blue dress. The simple frock she wears for the majority of the film. It wasn’t there. She is so firmly, at this point, a Disney Princess that I almost forgot how awesome she is.

belle When Beauty and the Beast first came out in 1991 I had some sort of weird prejudice about it. I loved The Little Mermaid so very much, you see, and in my ten year old head I didn’t need anything else. I didn’t see how Beauty and the Beast could possibly be as good. So my sister and mom saw it and reported back that I really ought to see it. So, begrudgingly, I did. And I was blown away. Here was a heroine who didn’t fit in (not just that she longed for more like Ariel), who believed in her father’s weird inventions, who liked to read. And oh did she like to read. She read faster than I could possibly imagine, having just picked up Jack and the Beanstalk from the bookshop the day before she returned it. She even read while she walked, a habit I hadn’t quite kicked yet (I never knew how to balance being social with what I really wanted to be doing). And while Ariel had the glorious red hair I had always longed for, Belle’s hair was brown, the color I had. She used books to escape her mundane, or shall I say provincial, life just like I did. I loved her. Not in the way that I pretended to be a mermaid in the pool, but in the way that I didn’t have to change much about myself to walk in her shoes. Of course, she had an extraordinary life, while I just had me.

library Belle was curious, intelligent, and true. Now she’s a pretty face lumped with many other pretty faces on a pack of stickers. I’m not saying Disney Princesses are bad, they are a successful campaign and what little girl doesn’t want to be a princess? But they do ignore the bigger picture of who these girls are. Snow White took charge of her life, escaping to the woods and a cottage of new friends despite it being 1937, Sleeping Beauty met a dude in the woods and sneaked around behind her aunts backs, typical of 1959, Ariel was a curious, headstrong, princess of the sea who wanted more than she was lotted. We can’t ignore the fact that these characters are based on fairy tales  of course, where the traditional role of the female was beauty and subservience. This isn’t necessarily a reflection on females, but rather a reflection on the times. I knew the story of Beauty and the Beast quite well before the story came out but when it did I loved it more because Belle was a much stronger character than she was originally written. Disney writes the girls as rebellious  I like that. Okay, perhaps in many circumstances they don’t go far enough (I mean, I am referring mostly to the Renaissance here cause their classic movies reflected their times too) but they are miles ahead of their often one dimensional starts. And I think it’s fair to say that these princesses are far more than the image of them that they’ve become. I know a family that doesn’t approve of the Disney Princesses and steers their daughters away from them. While I understand that girls should aspire to be more than princesses I am not sure this is fair. They are all far more than princesses, we just seem to have forgotten. Of course, people have complaints. I have often seen this argument:

wanted adventure But, no. No, that is not really what happened. Yes, she wanted adventure, she sings as much. Let me lay out what this provincial life she sings so much about not wanting would entail (because it’s all there in the movie). She gets married, tries to fit in in a town where she doesn’t, she has kids, she massages her husband’s gross feet while his latest kill roasts over the fire and the kids play with the dogs. I’m not even saying specifically that she marries Gaston, I am just saying that she’s supposed to marry someone. And if she doesn’t she becomes a spinster and lives with her father for the rest of his life (I’m sure she’d find this preferable). She doesn’t want either of these things, clearly. She wants something exciting, something impressive, she doesn’t want to be typical. These are modern sensibilities, yes, and the audience is able to relate to them easily. But it’s explicit in the film that the rest of the town can not. This isn’t portraying, after all, modern times.

belle's house So Belle exchanges her freedom for her father’s. She meets some enchanted flatware and a literal beast who learns to control his temper enough that they actually get to know each other. Maybe she gets a little Stockholm Syndrome. And yes, she falls in love. Because even modern women can do that. And quite frequently do. And let’s be real here; it’s not like she set out to fall in love. It’s very unlikely that she thought she was going to fall in love with the beast in the forest who locked her father in a dungeon. I mean, come on. And might I add, she doesn’t exactly fall in love expecting a sunny life of courtiers and grand balls. She falls in love with a beast who has sequestered himself in a castle. I’m pretty sure she understands that if she stays with him she’s not going to be seeing anyone else ever. Her feelings are complex about this, in the case of never seeing her father again, which she expresses when the Beast asks if she’s happy at the castle. Still, this adventure, this certainly unconventional love is worth it.

beast pissed So then I suppose when she finds out he’s not really a beast and the castle goes from creeptastic to all white and shining with vines creeping up the side and real live people where they used to be a teapot and candelabra this is all just too typical and she should head for the hills? No. This is still an adventure. Just because she marries the prince at the end doesn’t mean she doesn’t get an exciting life. It just means that that story is over and that now she has the means and opportunity to start a  new story, albeit one we don’t get to hear. And, I’m gonna be honest here, I have always seen Belle as the dominant member of their relationship. The Beast can be scary, but that’s really just because he is a beast. Imagine if a human being behaved the way he did. Just do it now. The bit where he insists she comes to dinner. The part where he’s arguing about who’s fault it is that he’s hurt since he ran out in the snow after her and saved her from a pack of wolves. He’s behaving like a spoiled teenager, which is exactly what he was. He frightens her because he looks imposing, but once she realizes he’s all bark and no bite she’s not above verbal jabs and horrified looks at his table manners. And he obviously likes it. She’s probably the only person who’s ever stood up to him in his entire life. Which was likely his problem in the first place. Within the first ten minutes of meeting she’s already chewing him out for not letting her say goodbye to her father, and he clearly feels bad about it. So, I don’t imagine that they will be sitting idle in a castle just doing nothing from then on. I’m sure she’s got plenty of adventures to come. In fact, someone should write this. “The Continuing Adventures of Belle and the Prince Who’s Name is Apparently Adam”. Maybe they go to Denmark and meet a princesses who used to be a mermaid. Sorry, naysayers, Belle got it all; a life far from provincial, a true love, a freaking awesome meet-cute  and probably plenty of adventures to come.

stained glass

Posted in Childhood Icons, I'm Her! | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

‘Girls’ Crazy

I would like to talk about Girls.

girls

Probably because sometimes it seems like everyone is talking about Girls. It’s been a long time since I’ve come across a piece of media that has people talking quite so… heatedly. Everyone has an opinion and they feel the need to express these opinions forcefully on their various social media outlets, whether it be facebook, Twitter, or even just comments at the bottom of articles written, of which they are every Monday, faithfully and ready for people to argue over. The point is, people have very strong views about this show. And it’s impressive when something captures people’s attention like this. Sure, the show won several Golden Globes and has an eighty four percent approval rating on metacritic, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that people will be engaged in their viewing. And, yes, HBO is known for as a channel that touts quality about quantity. Their not rolling out whatever Housewife wants to be seen this week, they show quality scripted shows. Everyone knows this. But every Monday I find scores of article written about the previous episode and then tons of people either agreeing with the writer or deriding them for their remarks. Sometimes I get so frustrated with those I disagree with, but I have to think that this sort of discussion is great, and that I have to approve of the thing that brought it to us.

I love this show. Really, it took me a few episodes before I loved it, but when I started watching it last year it was with a sort of determination. I have a perfect memory of seeing the poster for Lena Dunham’s Tiny Furniture at my old place of employment. Which was a movie theatre. I remember seeing it hanging on a very precise place on the wall. Of course, I do realize that I hadn’t been working there at the time of this movie’s release so there is no way I could have seen it there. I must have seen it online. But wherever I saw it I remember it well. Dunham is lying on the floor by some, get this, tiny furniture and the tagline is emblazoned over pretty much the whole thing “Aura would like you to know she’s having a very, very hard time.” Well. Look at that. I’m having a hard time too! I promptly put it on my Netflix list, even though it hadn’t been released on DVD and I waited. I waited forever. So when Girls came on my tv screen and was pretty much Tiny Furniture the television show I was all about it. I didn’t instantly like the characters and I had a hard time relating to their entitlement but then three episodes in I realized something. I did like all the characters and I could totally understand their sense of entitlement. What was keeping me from liking them off the bat was my indignant sense of not wanting to see my own flaws. I think this is true of a lot of people. In a lot of ways I think the things people don’t like about the show is that it’s too close to home. People don’t want to believe that they are selfish and their lives are messy and that they make decisions that people stare at and shake their heads, but the reality is that everyone does. What is brave about Girls is that it’s very unflattering. Hannah (Lena Dunham) is lazy, chubby, and likely has an inflated view of her abilities. She’s a lot like me; except I’m old enough that I should have solved it by now. Hannah is clearly the juiciest role of the bunch, but it’s also the most polarizing. She is very easy to hate, mostly due to the fact that she takes very little responsibility for her actions. When the series starts out Hannah is working at an unpaid internship and living off her parents, who presumably pay her New York rent and send her money for living expenses. She graduated from college approximately a year earlier and is in absolutely no hurry to take charge of her life. She’s a writer, after all. In the pilot her parents come to visit and announce that they are cutting her off. She’s understandably upset by this injustice. But this catalyst for the beginning of Hannah’s story is only the very first thing people had to complain about. A friend of mine just watched season one for the first time two days ago and announced that they thought the mother was a bitch because she cut her daughter off. I disagreed. While it would certainly be jarring to suddenly be responsible for living expenses and astronomical New York rent with no discernable income, it is certainly understandable that she must have seen this could not be a permanent situation. Keep in mind, of course, that both me and said friend are currently living at home rent free and eating our mother’s food. Still, Hannah’s grumbling and declarations of unfairness didn’t turn me against her, quite the opposite really, because her reaction was perhaps the most real thing I had ever seen on television. She is, after all, twenty four. It’s clearly Hannah, and the actress who plays her, who has garnered the most criticism. Likely because when watching the credits of the show they go something along the lines of this: Directed by Lena Dunham, Written by Lena Dunham, Produced by Lena Dunham, Staring Lena Dunham. It’s not hard to see that Lena Dunham is almost solely responsible for Girls and as a result she gets the meatiest storylines, the wittiest dialogue, and almost carte blanche to examine what she wants to do with any of the characters. For some reason many people find this self indulgent and egotistical. I don’t, not really, not more than anything else. Hannah’s the meat and potatoes of Girls, yes, but she doesn’t get things going her way, she doesn’t get all the guys fawning over her, she doesn’t even have success. She’s a mess, a great character to play, I’m sure, but given the awkward situations she often finds herself in I can’t imagine she’s the most comfortable. Plus, the emotional journeys of all of the girls are equally strong.

Hannah

A few weeks ago the website College Humor published a post that applied the criticism of the show, and Dunham herself, to the sitcom Seinfeld. Pretty aptly. It argued that no one had a problem when Jerry Seinfeld cast himself in the role of a successful comedian who dates pretty much exclusively beautiful women. Perhaps we were meant to believe that this was the actual life of the man, perhaps it even was. It didn’t matter to me, at all, because you know what? It was funny. It is still funny. The same applies to Girls. In fact, in some ways it was interesting to see how typical Girls is of a television show, though it’s often touted as not so.

Girls is about a very specific time in people’s lives. There are those, of course, that leave college knowing exactly where they are going and what they are planning to do. They apply and are accepted for jobs, move into their lovely homes, and marry their sweethearts. Then there is everyone else, the demographic that seems to be more and more prevalent in our society and the one that seems to be stretching even beyond the traditional early twenties (I know very few people who are gainfully employed in jobs they want to turn into careers). Some people don’t even get it right the first time.

Marnie

Marnie is a good example of this. In the beginning of season one she seems to be the one of the group who has their shit together the most. She has a full time job in an art gallery, is cultured, has an adoring boyfriend and a solid group of friends, and lives with a roommate in Brooklyn, New York. She epitomizes a group of young professional, starting out in the field they love but probably nowhere near where they want to be. Ideally, she would marry the boyfriend, be promoted at work, and move into a brownstone in Park Slope. Of course, because in life (like in fiction) things don’t always work out the way they are supposed to, this is not what happens. Instead the boyfriend grates on her nerves, and she is unceremoniously downsized in the first episode of season two. Then she, like her friends and like so many of mine, she starts to flail. She second guesses choices, she gets a menial part time hostessing gig, and she tries on a variety of hats, casting herself in makeshift sophistication in a plastic dress. Finally, she decides (for two episodes anyway) that she wants to be a singer, despite no evidence to the audience that she has ever warbled a note. I don’t believe this is a writing failing, I believe this is the point. Marnie, along with many people I know in real life, has no real idea of what she wants to do with her life apart from that she wants to do something creative. Her talent is, of course, dubious. As most talent is. Her story arch for season two is, perhaps, the most complete of the group and finally acknowledged in episode nine when her ex-boyfriend, Charlie, pulls her aside and tells her that she has to get it together. It would be nice if this was the shot in the arm she needed, an honest admonishment. That’s what would happen in a movie or television show, but this is Girls. And in Girls, like in life, nothing is that smooth.

jessa

There is a breed of person. They like to call themselves free spirits because they make seemingly irrational decisions, never stick with anything for very long, and act as thought they are very happy all the time. People look at them and wish they could be more like them. Wouldn’t it be nice to have so few scruples that it would be appropriate to couch surf at a friend of a friends house for two weeks until they start gazing at your out of the side of their eye and wish it was still a social convention to put a pineapple in someone’s room to indicate it was time to move along? You’d certainly see more and do more, have more life experiences. But then you sit back and really think about it and decide you could never inconvenience someone that way. This is the problem with the free spirit; you want to be them, but only for a day. Such is Jessa. Quite honestly, I can’t stand Jessa, and I never could. From the first frame of the first episode she graced I disliked her. There’s a scene in season two, a meaningless scene that has no impact over the rest of the season at all. Hannah is visiting Jessa, who has just gotten a whole box full of puppies, and they are sitting in a park cooing over how cute they are. Jessa then starts to arbitrarily name them. I wish I could remember all of their idiotic names, but I do remember one was Fucker and Hannah suggested Hanukah (which Jessa begrudgingly allowed). These names are so extraordinarily stupid that it made me want to reach through the screen and slap her. Those poor dogs are now going to go through life with names like Fucker. When I named my cat, Pyewacket, I carefully selected one that meant something to me. In fact, my Latin teacher had talked about Bell, Book, and Candle so many times over my two years of Latin that I was pretty sure if I ever got a cat I would be naming it after the witch’s familiar in that movie. Like it or hate it, I thought long and hard about that name because Pye is a living creature that I love. Poor Fucker didn’t get that luxury. And, actually, I shutter to think what is actually going to happen to those dogs since Jessa is unlikely to be a good care taker in the long run (we never do see them again). Perhaps I shouldn’t care or think about it much, but I get horrible images of those adorable puppies being given off to kill shelters. Or, probably more likely, let loose in a case of “they’re animals, they should be free”. She’s a free spirit after all.

Shoshanna

Finally, there is Shoshanna. Arguably the least featured of the girls Shoshanna is given the role of neurotic virgin. It’s the sort of role that could have gone horribly wrong had it not been placed in the capable hands of Mad Men alum Zosia Mamet. And, though Shoshanna is frequently hilarious and has the best facial expressions of the whole crew, it makes sense that she’s underutilized. Perhaps she’s best in small doses. Jessa’s cousin, Shoshanna starts out the series as little more than Jessa’s crash pad. She has an apartment that has, seemingly, one room (though I am sure there are hidden depths if the amount of people revolving in and out can be relied upon) and is decorated cutely. Her first season journey is pretty much a quest to lose her virginity, something she is awkwardly trying to dispose of after managing to retain it all through college. It’s clear that Shoshanna considers this a failing, though I’m not quite as convinced. Finally, at the end of the season she does a few drugs, runs around with no pants on, and hooks up with reoccurring character Ray (regular in season two). Pretty soon, though she doesn’t seem to realize it at first, he’s moved in. As I said, Shoshanna doesn’t have nearly as much to do as the others but she’s always funny and frequently steals the scenes she’s in.

There seem to be two camps available to characters on television; to be likeable or to be so unlikable that they’re funny. Mixed in with our Friends and our Big Bang Theories we have our Seinfelds and our It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphias. The intense, almost to a fault, likeability of Rachel, Monica, Phoebe, Joey, Ross, and Chandler (though, yes I am aware you could all weigh in here and let me know the Friend you despised the most) fueled Friends through nine seasons, despite it’s growing mediocrity. Alternatively, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia has been going fairly strong for eight years despite a cast of characters that are foul mouth, drunken, selfish assholes that are as nasty to each other as they are to everyone else. And it’s hilarious. Girls is neither of these things, these characters are neither completely likeable nor completely disagreeable. They all do stupid things, all are mildly selfish, and they tend to make the audience uncomfortable at times, probably because they recognize too much of themselves in it.

When Girls began there was a giant article in my US Weekly comparing and contrasting it to another HBO show about women living in New York. That’s right, Sex and the City. I would never disparage Sex and the City, not even after its brilliance has been tarnished with two pretty awful (but sometimes fun) movies, but I don’t think it has much to do with Girls, and I think comparing them is a disservice. True, they are both about a group of female friends living, loving, and working in New York, where the lead character happens to be a writer. But, Girls isn’t about the glamorous lives of Manhattanites making their way through men while never forgetting their own lives. Perhaps that’s what this group of girls could be, but not yet. Not even close. Carrie, Samantha, Miranda, and Charlotte had themselves together professionally, they were never looking to afford their rent, they had problems with men, of course, but not usually because they were incapable of functioning themselves while maintaining a relationship. Carrie and Company had already done that, at least ten years ago. It’s brought up, actually, several times when Carrie reminisces on her twenties and how she would never want to go back there. They’re a lot of fun, yeah, but Ms. Bradshaw recognized that she was a mess, as everyone is, and as these girls certainly are. Of course the comparisons between these two series were bound to arise, which is why Dunham addressed it in the first episode. Honestly though, anything about women in New York is compared to Sarah Jessica Parker’s pop culture exploding series. It’s simply not possible for something to be so popular and not become the corner stone of comparison. I’m just saying it doesn’t always make as much sense to compare as people would like it to be.

Probably the episode of Girls that has gotten people talking the most this season was what I liked to call a short film of an episode. Having pretty much nothing to do with anything else that goes on in the rest of the season, “One Man’s Trash” stars only Dunham as Hannah and features a short appearance by Alex Karpovsky as Ray. An attractive, middle aged man (played by Patrick Wilson) comes to Grumpy’s, the coffee shop where both regulars work, to complain that someone has been throwing the store trash into his garbage cans. Ray sloughs him off rudely but Hannah gets a bit cagey, and when she follows the gentleman home it’s no surprise when she confesses that it’s been her dumping the trash. Joshua (who Hannah continually calls Josh) is a recently divorced doctor with a Brooklyn townhouse and an obvious case of loneliness. The two talk, Hannah marvels at his ordinary life, he marvels at her youth and they end up having sex in his kitchen, after something like ten minutes. When she goes to leave for the day he begs her to stay, and then call in sick the next day. They spend the day chatting lightly, playing topless ping pong, cooking, and having more sex. Finally, that night, he asks her for something real and she responds with a tearful confession that she feels lost and confused and often thinks her life will go nowhere and she’s worthless. When she’s done things have clearly changed. Hannah is no longer the young girl who came to the door and stayed. She’s no longer the sexually aggressive mysterious young woman she was the night before. Joshua announces he has to work early and when Hannah wakes up in the morning he is gone. She makes breakfast, reads the paper, cleans up, and then finally leaves, putting the trash out as she goes. I liked the episodes, despite its non sequitur. I was certainly not prepared for the media frenzy that would explode the next day. But it seemed as if people had a problem with it. Not that it was boring, or bad, or even that it had nothing to do with the rest of the season and none of the other characters appeared. No. The problem they had was that Lena Dunham is not attractive enough to catch the attention of a man as hot as Patrick Wilson. A series of insulting articles were written, mostly by men’s magazines, about how absurd it was and how it might have been a dream because it was that unrealistic. Women fired back, enraged that anyone would put these insulting views to print. I agreed, mostly. But what I never read in any of the articles about it was what I saw so plainly, and what I expressed in my synopsis; Hannah may not be conventionally attractive, but she is a young woman who miraculously appears on his stoop and has immediate sex with him while understanding the fling for what it is, a fling. It’s him who begs her to stay because he wants more of the uncomplicated isolation. This only works behind closed doors, of course, and when she makes it too real by confiding what he thought he wanted to hear he pulls away. Like men tend to be, he was blinded by her youth and impulsiveness, her looks (and she is not butt ugly by any stretch of the imagination) simply did not factor into it. Basically, what makes this show work so well, the unflatteringly accurate picture Dunham shows of, well, girls, is exactly what men couldn’t handle when shown of themselves. And then, of course, decided to be insulting to women instead.

Every week there are a whole glob of blog posts and articles written about the aired episode. People complain and praise and laugh about the antics of the characters. Roll their eyes and say Marnie needs to get it together and Hannah needs to stop being so self indulgent. They say the dialogue was great but Dunham needs to, please for the love of god, put on some pants. They insist the portrayal is not accurate to their lifestyle or that it is. Men say what they like about it and what they don’t while their female counterparts deride them for “not getting it”, though many of them do. A lot of people fiercely love this show, some people also fiercely hate it, but neither will stop watching it and neither will stop posting about it online. So… hasn’t it then succeeded? The simple act of me posting this blog entry has cemented my part in its effectiveness. No one that’s watched it wants to stop talking about it. Which is probably why HBO keeps it around, despite ratings that aren’t spectacular (its weekly ratings are usually around the one million mark, often below). This is a show for a new generation. The Hannah Horvaths of the world. Us self indulgent bloggers and writers and people who post about their lives on the internet, and don’t quite accept that people don’t care about what we think of a television program.

Posted in I'm Her!, TV | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

A Daylight Savings Mix

Something happened since my job moved from five minutes to a half hour away from my house; I stopped taking long meandering drives and started getting very sick of all my music. Some seasons, like autumn or spring, speed by. Other creep with the speed of a turtle nearing death. Like winter. I saw a joke once that said there are four seasons in Ohio; Winter, more Winter, even more Winter, and construction. The truth to that is dubious (although any Ohioan would be hard pressed to not get it), but what is certain is that when you live in a city next to a giant lake you’re in for some very grey winters. And nothing suffuses the soul with joviality like a good mix. Here’s mine for not quite spring, but close. Feel free to download here.

musee d'orsay clock

1. Everyone’s Gonna Get High – Grouplove

2. Black Sheep – Gin Wigmore

3. Where the Kids Are – Blondfire

4. Future Starts Slow – The Kills

5. Go to Let Go (feat. Charlie Fink of Noah & the Whale) – Charlotte Gainsbourg

6. Love Is Gonna – Lucy Woodward

7. Fire – Ingrid Michaelson

8. 22 – Taylor Swift

9. Thinking of You – Ke$ha

10. Figure 8 – Ellie Goulding

11. I Love It (feat. Charli XCX) – Icona Pop

12. Bone – MS MR

13. Picking Up the Pieces – Paloma Faith

14. Glitter & Gold – Rebecca Ferguson

15. Put the Gun Down – ZZ Ward

16. Numb Bears – Of Monsters and Men

17. Motorway – Little Boots

18. Dark Paradise – Lana Del Rey

19. Sacrilege – Yeah Yeah Yeahs

20. The Freest Man – Tilly & the Wall

21. Carry On – fun.

Posted in Mix Tape | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

Books I’ve Read – January 2013

The Legacy – Katherine Webb

The Legacy(*** of five)

This book took me forever to read. Not because it wasn’t compelling and not because I didn’t like it, but rather because I was ensconced in the second season of ‘Homeland’ and thus unable to read. After that I was off on vacation with friends and unable to read. So by the time I sat down to this book I was feeling sort of ambivalent about it. Not a great way to go into the second half of a book once the first half was finished in stops and starts. Still, I did enjoy this book. It was given a lot of great reviews and I’m not sure it was a great as I was led to believe it was, but it was a solid story in a form that I love (girl now trying to uncover secrets of the past, which in turn unfold for the reader in a separate narrative).

Erica and her sister, Beth, have returned to their ancestral home, Storton Manor, after the death of their bitter grandmother, Meredith. They haven’t been back to the Manor since they were children, the horrible summer when their cousin, Henry, disappeared without a trace. An event that they know more about than what they’ve said. With Erica foundering and Beth suffering from a deep depression, Erica hopes that a time at the Manor will solve some of the mysteries of the past, especially as their childhood friend, Dinny, is still in the area. But some secrets are best never known and Erica discovers that are far more than one buried at Storton Manor, going back to the girl’s great grandmother, Caroline, an American who wed Lord Calcott in 1905 but who might have been harboring a secret past.

There were two stories here; Erica and Beth’s and Caroline’s. Both were fully compelling though I was especially interested in Caroline’s tale of a beautiful New York debutante transplanted to the wilderness of the Oklahoma prairie. Her journey was very interesting, especially the fact that I believe she was destined to be unhappy from the moment she met Corin Massey in New York. A woman of the city she could hardly have been happy on the prairie, but at the same time she could not be happy without Corin. It was an interesting tangle and one that was handled very well in this book. Her journey seemed genuine and conflicted, somewhat tortured but not in a melodramatic way.

Erica was the lead character in the modern storyline and she was worthy of it. Beth would have been difficult to grasp onto given her depression and inability to do much of anything. Erica was lost, switching jobs and apartments as often as she pleased, but she was something to grasp onto. We could learn along with her. But was there anything about her that was particularly great? Not really. I’m not sure I even noticed this while reading, but it is true.

This book is tricky. I liked it, but even a day later I am not sure why. It followed a formula I like, and I enjoyed uncovering the secrets. But most of them were pretty obvious from the beginning and discovering them was more of a a-ha! at being right rather than actually discovering something. I liked Erica and I liked Caroline, I enjoyed spending time with them, but in the end it’s probably best that they are single serving friends.

The Expats – Chris Pavone

The Expats(*** of five)

The plot of ‘The Expats’ was really good, the characters were well drawn, and even the writing was not worth complaining about. The problem was pacing. While everything should have gelled in this novel, it didn’t quite. What should have been something I couldn’t put down was really just okay. Not the sort of okay that would prompt me to tell everyone to pick this book up, but okay enough that I wouldn’t be above recounting the story and making it sound more exciting than it was. This book was like the TV show ‘Rubicon’ if you took out all the conspiracy. This is what I imagine is the reality of spies. It’s never quite as exciting as Ian Fleming would lead us to believe. There’s more paper work involved than gun fights.

Kate isn’t terribly reluctant when her husband announces the family should move to Luxembourg. Though she’s lying when she says she doesn’t know where the small country is located she’s never thought of living there. But with Dexter’s paycheck increasing to as much as three quarters of a million dollars a year and the idea of European travel, she quickly agrees and leaves her DC home, friends, and job behind. But Kate’s job is anything but ordinary, a former operative and current desk jockey for the Central Intelligence Agency, and not something she can leave behind so easily. As her family gets settled into their Luxembourgois existence Kate starts to suspect that things are not exactly what they seem, especially when a shady new couple enters their lives. Soon Kate’s not sure what’s true, what’s real, or who to believe. She learns that what is known, and where her instincts lay, can not be unknown. Kate finds that you can stop spying, but you can’t stop thinking like a spy.

I picked this book up because my dad recommended it and he doesn’t recommend a lot. I don’t blame him. There was a lot here that was going for this book. I love espionage, for one. I also love thriller/mysteries where a character is trying to piece together events of their own life. This… almost did it for me. It’s the sort of book that is so close to being good that it’s infuriating. I was genuinely interested to learn what would happen next and where it would end up, but the tepidity and the lack of any real urgency was a problem. There were also a lot of moments that I am certain were meant to be surprising, but weren’t.

I wouldn’t say not to read this, because I did enjoy it, but I wouldn’t say to be expecting a powerhouse of activity and excitement. This book is far quieter than it should have been, perhaps that’s more realistic, but it’s also less entertaining.

The Darlings – Cristina Alger

The Darlings(*** of five)

I read the book because it was listed as like another book that I liked. I can’t remember, for the life of me, what that book was now, nor do I think I ever will because this book was quite unlike anything I’ve ever read before. And there’s a reason for that. Honestly, I don’t think I would have ever picked out a book about the financial sector. I’m pretty sure I’ve fallen asleep while someone tried to explain a hedge fund to me. I don’t care about Wall Street or investments, and the word Ponzi scheme only mildly catches my attention. So, it seems like this book, which is essentially the story (from many points of view) of a family who’s caught in the middle of a financial crisis, would bore me to tears. But, it didn’t. I wouldn’t go so far as to say this book was excellent, but I’d hazard to say it was fully intriguing.

Paul Ross married into the wealthy New York Darling family and quickly became a full fledged member of their ranks, taking a job at the family Hedge Fund, to the delight of his wife, Merrill, a lawyer. Her sister, Lily, never amounted to much more than a socialite and wife to Julian, the head of PR at Delphic, the company of family head Carter Darling. When news comes in that family friend and investor Morty Reis has driven up to the Tappan Zee Bridge in the middle of the night and jumped off, it becomes immediately clear that not everything was right with his investment company, and as SEC becomes involved and reporters circle the story it becomes more and more clear that this was more than a little discrepancy, it was a full blown Ponzi scheme. But with Morty dead and the sharks circling, it seems obvious that someone is going to take the blame and who better than someone from Delphic, who have thirty three percent of their portfolio invested with Morty. Soon it’s every man for himself as they all scramble to make sure they’re not the one who ends up behind bars. Family loyalties are tested and friendships strained, leading to the question, who can you trust when everything is on the line.

This was one of those books that’s written from about twenty points of view, which isn’t the format of story that I like best. I prefer character driven stories rather than event driven stories. Oh, I know there must be some conflict, but when the story is really about the conflict and we need this many points of view to get a good picture it tends to annoy me. But that’s not to say I don’t end up loving them, I often do. It’s a complicated relationship I have with these sorts of novels. This one did a good job. This is a complicated issue and seeing as I’m not up on the financial market, one that I don’t have many hopes of understanding without lots of explanation. The choice to write this from so many points of view created a full picture that was ultimately satisfying. And the short chapters made the reading speed along. All of the characters came off both well and poorly at the same time, as most people are want to do, and felt complete. The scandal was clearly inspired by the now famous Madoff case, as everything is these days, but examining it from the inside was actually very interesting. Everyone was a little bit in the wrong, but it didn’t seem fair that any of them should receive all the blame. But still, the ending was satisfying.

This was a good read. It wasn’t great, but it was certainly worth looking in to if the description sounds appealing. I’m a sucker for rich families, they’re very Tolstoyian in the fact that they are never happy. But the financial stuff put me off. If you like that sort of thing I think you’ll love this, otherwise you’ll just like it and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.

Blue Bloods: Gates of Paradise – Melissa de la Cruz

Gates of Paradise(**** of five)

I am a huge sucker for this series. Huge. My best friend, in fact, has been subjected to so many of my endless descriptive recountings of the tale that I often feel as though she may whop me about the head. I don’t care. I don’t care that this is completely age inappropriate, as I am no longer sixteen, this is a really good series. It is my complete and end all if I had to pick on guilty pleasure. And this is the end. The last book. We say goodbye to Schuyler, and Oliver, and Jack, and Mimi, and Bliss and Kingsley, and all the rest. It was a good ride and I think the ending lived up to it.

After the many events in the preceding six books Schuyler and Jack are parted once more; she in London searching out the Gate of Promise (which we just learned is a two way road forking one way to Hell and the other back to Paradise) and he forced into serving Lucifer in Hell with his twin sister, both Force twins having forsaken their bond to be with others. Meanwhile, Bliss Llewellyn has joined with the wolves, freshly broken from their bond to the Hounds of Hell (see; Wolf Pact) and are racing to correct a fracture in time gone back to Roman times. With Sky and Oliver searching through her human past and the Force twins acting as double agents and everyone gearing up for the ultimate battle between good and evil the stakes have never been this high.

Yes, yes, I know. I had a hard time writing my synopsis with a straight face. But this series was perhaps one of the most surprising things I’ve come across in awhile. I certainly never thought that when I opened ‘Blue Bloods’ on the beach two years ago I would be actively anticipating the next installment. But, these are very imaginative stories. And they’re probably like the filet mignon of teen supernatural fiction as far as writing goes. I have always felt like the characters were well developed and multidimensional, only veering towards stereotype in the very beginning. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not under any kind of illusion that these are great books. They are what they are and they are very good at being. If vampires and angels and the supernatural are your thing, I’d say check it out. But probably start from the beginning.

The Ivy – Lauren Kunze

The Ivy(**** of five)

There’s nothing to defeat the Winter doldrums quite like no-brainer Teen Fiction, and ‘The Ivy’ is just that. And given my penchant for books about students, academia, and particularly the Ivies, it seems like this would be a slam dunk for me. I’d heard of it long before I picked it up. It was always toted well around the YA fiction readers (I honestly don’t know why I like these sorts of books but they have it all; scandal, trysts, and are just plain fun, the same reason I watch Pretty Little Liars religiously, I suppose). I didn’t pick it up just because I felt like I’d read enough of these sorts of books. But then, for Christmas, I was gifted a Nook. Yes, an ereader, which I have been railing against for years. I figured I should download something and this ended up being the winner. I sped through it and quickly searched out the sequels. I don’t mind the ereader either (though I still prefer books). Yes this is somewhat silly. It’s glossy and romantic and scandalous. But, really, what is the matter with that?

Callie Andrews has been accepted at at Harvard University and substitutes her middle class California lifestyle for that of old money and Finals Clubs. Within these pages Callie makes unlikely friends with her three very different roommates; promiscuous, foreign, and hilarious Mimi, conservative Dana, and New York socialite in training, Vanessa; delves into her mountains of school work, begins the audition process for the Harvard Crimson’s weekly magazine, Fifteen Minutes, headed by a one Alexis Thorndike who takes a disliking to Callie immediately; and then of course there are boys. Torn between Gregory, her ladies man of a cross hall neighbor; Clint, the too perfect ex-boyfriend of Callie’s new nemesis; Matt, who’s probably just a friend; and Evan, her ex who’s done something unforgivable, Callie must tread the waters of a new grown up world where actions have consequences that must be faced, whether she wants to or not.

The book actually reminded me a lot of Penelope, by Rebecca Harrington. Perhaps it’s an unfair comparison, as Callie is much more outgoing an social ept than Harrington’s protagonist, but both are fish out of water as Harvard freshman, and both deal with girls who are suddenly thrown in with the upper classes and upperclassmen who belong to Final Clubs, the all male social clubs that pepper Harvard Square but are now unaffiliated with the school, mostly due to their bizarre refusal to go co-ed. While Callie is an outsider, she does have some very influential friends, and boyfriends, so she becomes a member of the Hasty Pudding Social Club (a social club, not Final Club, which is co-ed) so we do see the insides of these exclusive groups, which is very fun.

This book is definitely Young Adult fiction, but it’s head and shoulders above the rest. The writing is well done, concise, and very fun. Actually, there’s not much of a difference between this and a chick lit book. I realize that’s not much of a compliment, but it’s not exactly an insult either. There are times for heavy, thought provoking, award winning books, and there are times for something a bit less meaty. This is definitely the latter, but it’s very fun.

The Ivy: Secrets – Lauren Kunze

Secrets(**** of five)

Callie Andrews is back in this second installment of the Ivy series. It continues the tradition of the first novel, starting right after the first ends in the first semester of her Freshman year at Harvard University. This series is from that rare line these days; fiction for the younger set that’s not a supernatural romance. This is about hazarding the trials and tribulations of… everyday life? Most take place in high school but here author Lauren Kunze stitched together her experiences in the Ivy League into one hell of an entertaining Young Adult series. Yes, there’s a lot of unnecessary drama, a lot of extreme backstabbing, and rivalries that seem a little too high school. But who hasn’t experienced that in their own lives, even if they don’t want to?

After the events in the first book Callie Andrews is left unsure where she stands with… well, anyone. Her roommate and former best friend, Vanessa Von Vorhees, is not speaking to her because of an entanglement with their neighbor across the hall, Gregory, at the Harvard-Yale game; because of a misunderstanding, Gregory is keeping Callie at arm’s length; and to cap it all off she may or may not have cheated on Clint, the upperclassman who’s too good to be true. Between challenging classes, her crumbling social life, and continuing her COMP (the audition process) for Fifteen Minutes Magazine for arch-nemesis Alexis Thorndike Callie can hardly keep her head above water. Especially when Alexis finds out Callie’s deepest, darkest secret. Callie will do anything to keep everyone from finding out, and Alexis is there to make sure she does.

These books are good. I mean, they’re silly and easy to read and don’t really mean much, but for this sort of fiction The Ivy series really goes a bit deeper. In a lot of ways, apart from the simplistic writing style and the copious love triangles and entanglements, these read just like any other (adult) book that’s written about the college experience. And there’s no doubt that that is what Kunze has set out to do. The culture of the best and oldest school in the country is vastly different from what the rest of us experience, and luckily for us; it’s really fun.

The Ivy: Rivals – Lauren Kunze

Rivals(**** of five)

In the third installment of The Ivy series Callie and crew continue where we’ve left off. Gregory realizes the misunderstanding that has kept him and Callie apart, but it may be too late. Now that COMP is over and Callie was rejected from Fifteen Minutes (even after she slaved for editor Alexis Thorndike and broke up with too perfect Clint at Alexis’ bequest) she just might get a new opportunity at the Harvard Crimson. At least if Grace Lee, the intrepid editor, has anything to say about it. But with a new, official, beau Callie might be set to start anew. As old rivals and new frenemies come out to play and Callie grows a little more world weary it’s clear she still has a lot more to learn. As the Hasty Pudding Social Club and a couple Finals Clubs head to the Caribbean for Spring Break the season is high for drama that wont end until they return to campus and the bottom finally falls out of Callie’s strenuously arranged Freshman year.

There’s something about Teen Fiction that I love. Perhaps it’s that I never grew up properly, or perhaps it’s just that I can appreciate all sort of fiction. I can’t help it, I just love a bit of cheese every once in awhile. Which is probably why one of my favorite television shows is ‘Pretty Little Liars’. I don’t care that they introduce plots that disappear without a trace two episodes later. The other day I said to my, also addicted, best friend “Can you imagine how good this show would be if the writing was actually good?” That’s sort of the way I feel about Teen Fiction. It’s quick to read, almost single serving, and I can never wait to get back to see what happens. And The Ivy series is one of the better ones I’ve read. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a sucker for the supernatural romance/ teenagers saving the world stuff, but I also like the every day normal ones, as long as the character are well done. And in this they are. Callie is a strong character, her guys multidimensional, and her roommates either hilariously diverse or wickedly reactionary. All of this is a winning combination, clearly, cause The Ivy might not be great reading, but it is great fun.

Sweet Tooth – Ian McEwan

Sweet Tooth(*** of five)

I’m not sure what to say about this book. On one hand, it’s Ian McEwan and I don’t think I need to go into any effort when trying to convey his skill. On the other hand, I seemed to develop a sort of narrative induced narcolepsy when reading this book. It wasn’t as if I didn’t like it. It wasn’t even that it was slow. There was just something about it that lulled me off into the deepest of sleeps with only the effort it took to lift this book to my face and read.

Serena Frome (rhymes with plume) is a somewhat below average college student, studying the wrong subject in 1970s England when she meets the handsome older man who will introduce her to a whole new life. As Tony Canning grooms Serena for an interview at MI5 she begins to fall in love but when the love affair comes to a crashing end Serena finds herself ensconced in the somewhat boring world of clerical work for an intelligence agency. Living week to week in a tiny bedsit Serena finds comfort in books, her one friend, Shirley, and a potential love interest, Max Greatorex. But then Serena is assigned to Sweet Tooth, a intelligence funded program meant to groom artists and promote their Capitalist work. Tom Haley is a budding novelist and soon he’s Serena’s asset. As Serena finds herself falling in love, once again, and as the lies continue to pile up it becomes less and less likely that Serena can extract herself from the situation with her heart intact.

I wrote in my review of ‘The Expats’ that that book was what I imagined real life espionage to be like. Less James Bond, more paranoid housewife. I was wrong. THIS is what I imagine real life espionage to look like. No one dangles from a window here. No one wields a gun or knife. The double crossing that takes place within ‘Sweet Tooth’ is more liked to games of lovers than games of spies. Serena’s job is not glamorous, she is not paid well, and when she acquires an asset of her own it’s fairly banal. Perhaps what I am really saying here is that this is not a book that’s exciting because it’s about spies. It is about spies and it can be fairly exciting, but the excitement comes from human entanglements rather than spy work. There’s double crossing and deviousness, but not over state secrets. By the time I got about halfway through I was completely invested in Serena, Shirley, Tom, Tony, and Max, but it did take me awhile to get there. This book is slow going but ultimately rewarding. Like any good McEwan it gets there.

Also like any good McEwan it’s nearly completely character driven. Serena is undoubtedly the central character, but all the characters, from the greatly detailed Tony Canning to the supplementary Mr. Frome, also a Bishop, are well drawn and completely believable. This did end up being a very good book, narcolepsy aside, but it did take me a good long time to get into it. It probably didn’t help that the only place I had to read for the six days it took me to complete was my warm, comfy bed. The most gripping, fast paced of fare might have given me narcolepsy too.

Moranthology – Caitlin Moran

moranthology

(**** of five)

This book was great. Great. I don’t usually read this sort of thing; the books published by women who should really be comedians but instead have talk shows and tv series where they play themselves. Or, you know, are columnists for the London Times. On the front cover Caitlin Moran is compared to Tina Fey, Chelsea Handler, and Lena Dunham when really she’s all her own. And she’s hilarious. She’s like what Carrie Bradshaw would have been if she wasn’t so into finding guys and more in tune with pop culture, didn’t care about fashion, and hero worshiped Benedict Cumberbatch more than a new pair of Manolos. This book is basically a bunch of her columns put together with short introductions into each one. If I lived in England and regularly read her column I’m sure this would have been repetitive and unnecessary. But, I don’t live in England, unfortunately, and I’ve never been exposed to Moran before. Her previous novel, ‘How to Be A Woman’ managed to escape me. I’m not surprised. As I said, I’m not a connoisseur of this sort of book. In fact, the only reason this one caught my attention is because she’s supporting the raddest looking typewriter the world has ever seen on her knees. Improbably. Because really who could possibly type that way. Actually, it looks pretty uncomfortable, as that thing looks pretty heavy. And is so if the photograph of the author on the back is any indication; Moran, jazzily dressed in cuffed jeans and teal Doc Martins, heaving a matching typewriter. But that is hardly the point. Inside ‘Moranthology’ you’ll find articles on everything from vacationing on the Welsh coast (I would now really like to go to Aberystwyth), rants about women copying her unique hair (funny because when my best friend saw the cover she immediately exclaim that that, THAT, was the hair she wanted), and many many thoughts on the BBC’s fantastic show ‘Sherlock’ (I have to disagree with half her assessment of the greatness of A Scandal in Belgravia, which I only found half amazing and reserve the other half to eye-rolling stereotypes). I didn’t always agree (I think she’s trying to take ‘Downton Abbey’ a little too seriously) but was always amused. I found myself laughing out loud rather frequently throughout this book, which I sped through in my eagerness to see what she’d talk about next. And the subjects were very diverse; pop culture, travel, fashion, motherhood, love, all the things that make up a life. This book wasn’t a memoir or biography. It was a collection of articles, essays, and editorials. But, in the end I felt like I walked away with a pretty good idea of who Caitlin Moran is. And I like her.

Spy in a Little Black Dress – Maxine Kenneth

Spy in a Little Black Dress(*** of five)

This is the sequel to ‘Paris to Die For’, an amusing “What If?” book about Jackie Bouvier, before she was Jackie Kennedy, as agent of the newly formed Central Intelligence Agency. In the first book Jackie met with a potential Russian defector, flirted with a French photographer, became ensconced in the plight of an exiled princess, and made a date with an up and coming congressman from Massachusetts. In the sequel we are in for more of the same.

Jacqueline Lee Bouvier has just returned to her stepfather’s Virginia estate after an exciting, yet harrowing, mission in Paris for the CIA. Between putting in social appearances, maintaining her pristine collection of couture, and spy training at the Farm it’s a surprise that Jackie has time for anything else. But when Allen Dulles, director of the intelligence agency, asks Jackie to get close and personal with Jack Kennedy to find out if he supports the fledgling agency, Jackie agrees immediately. But soon Jackie is whisked away on a new mission to Cuba; get a better understanding of revolutionary Fidel Castro’s political leanings should his group manage to overthrow president Batista, and try to find the treasure of a Civil War solider buried on the island. Before she can even click her heels together Jackie is in trouble with three Stooge-looking Stasi agents and the diabolical General Sanchez. Not to mention she’s in danger of loosing her heart to her handsome young Cuban contact, Emiliano. But in a country with this much unrest and this close to the equator things are sure to heat up for our refined young CIA agent, who just so happens to be a future first lady.

This book is just pure fun. It’s not great writing, and the people she meets are just a bit too convenient (at a club in Havana she runs into Hemingway and Sinatra and shares a table with a young Grace Kelly in a Schraft’s in New York) but they are sort of fun. Especially as it’s sort of a game to think who she might run into yet. But, it also helps to keep in mind that the plots and characters in this book are flat out absurd. It’s also interesting to note that Jackie does manage a few dates with her future husband and the epilogue ten years in the future in the middle of the Cuban missile crisis, which brings and interesting view to both Jackie as a character, and wife to the rakish gentleman we’ve seen throughout the book, and to her mission, which she’s never spoken about to anyone.

This book gave a surprisingly sympathetic view to the Cuban revolutionaries, but stopped short before Castro was actually in power. We’re never given Jackie’s views on what Cuba’s fall to communism. Though we’re left with idealistic views that don’t get to a far deeper subject, that’s probably for the best. This is light reading after all. It’s a fun book about the early days of the CIA with an improbable heroine. Not realistic, but I never wanted it to be. Now if they’ll just write FBI Pat Nixon I think we’ll have it covered.

Posted in books | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment